| October has been a crazy month for us, with lots going on. I can't even remember most of it. Most notably though is our new live in, who is a lovely asset to our family. Very warm and excellent with the girls - they really like her. I sacked the other part time Nanny, she was annoying me. I hired a new cleaner who is really the most humble person I've ever met. She came to our house very ill the first day, she was worried about calling me to cancel because she said it wasn' t a good look. I told her to go home because she looked so poorly, but she nearly cried and told me she was desperate for the money to be able to pay her bills. Don't worry, I'm not a complete cow! We paid her in full and sent her home to rest. I gave her some panadol and some cat food (again, not that much of cow - the food was genuinely for her cat - not her! she didn't have enough money to buy food for him, and I even gave her a fuel docket). She was very taken aback by our offerings, which weren't meant as charity but just to get her through a 'rough patch.' Steve and I are indebited to the people that gave us furniture and helped us out when we went through some pretty horrific times in the past. Sometimes, you have no choice but to lean on other people and when people can offer any sort of help, no matter how small they think it is, it makes a whole world of difference. I've been struggling with tiredness and trying to get assignments done. I stupidly asked for extensions for both my due assignments. This means there is a backlog and I have exams to study for as well. I got back my previous two, one was a C+ grade - which I was disappointed with, but Steve has told me that this is considered a pass and I should be happy with it. The other grade was an A - which apparantly is a very good start. I was thrilled to bits with these grades and it gave me a good boost of confidence. However, sleepless nights and wearing baby poo and sick have eroded my confidence in my ability. I decided I was going to withdraw. It made me feel like a failure and really upset. I was even more grouchy then before. Finally, I pulled my thumb out of my arse and went to see a learning advisor. I explained how behind I was and how I've got two scary exams coming up. We discussed the work plan and talked about how exams worked. That at least prepared me for the unknown. It was good to be back on the campus again. Its reinforced that its definitely something I want to achieve for myself. So I'm trying to get back into it. We also had a call from the homeowners. They feel that as we've been such good tenants, they would like for me to manage the property. This means either a decrease in rent - or a management fee. I'm delighted that they have recognised we do respect the house and treat it like our own. The woman had dropped by a week ago, and around that time Steve had water blasted the front, we'd had the grass cut and of course, hiring cleaners and our own standards means the place is always tidy. She also went on to say that now they might look at selling us the property. Previously, I would have been over the moon. As this house ticks all the boxes and I had been so bitterly disappointed that they wouldn't consider selling the past. But once they'd said a definitive no, I had kind of accepted that and moved on. Besides, I don't really want a tie to NZ, an investment property is fine, but a family home is something entirely different. I'm very restless now, I need a change of scenery. Steve has been trying to get a new contract. With elections coming up in Nov, the government has predictably postponed a lot of contracts, or decreased the fee. Competition is rife now so Steve has had to be really on to it in terms of communication. Things are going slowly, but he's currently put to tender two contracts. We await their decisions. This morning Pip had an appointment with a neurodevelopmental specialist. The outcome is that her fine motor skils could do with some practice, but otherwise she's pretty much where she should be. In fact, she had advanced considerably over the last couple of weeks. She was even playing catch! We bought her a little basketball hoop for her birthday on Monday so she'll get to practice her ball skills even more. My other good news is that my best mate is flying over in November to see us. I'm so excited! I miss her terribly. My parents have said they will come over in Jan as well. So lots of planning to do. I need to get on track with my study, so I can at least prove to him that I'm not a complete failure afterall. This blog entry may not make great sense because I really am beside myself with tiredness at the moment. I'll be glad to see November now! |