| The pregnancy kept my mind distracted from being stuck here in NZ. For once, it was nice not to be planning a big move at the end of the pregnancy. I agree that Steve was right to force that issue. I also understand the benefits of us sticking around here for a bit longer because of Steve's work opportunities here. However, although I can see the logic, I just don't have the patience! I've always been very much a 'today' sort of person. I can't even see two weeks ahead, let alone any longer term goals. It infuriates Steve greatly. Add to that my inability to stay rooted for any length of time and we have ourselves a receipe for disaster! I've now been in NZ for longer than a year. Aside from being a kid in England, this is by the far the longest I have ever stayed in one spot. Even when I was pregnant and giving birth, I couldn't stay rooted. About a week after I'd given birth, we were sat in the garden. Steve was all relaxed and I said, do you realise now I'm not pregnant we could head to the airport now and just take off for pastures new. (Barring the fact Egg doesn't have her passport yet!). I think his hair turned another shade of grey in that instant. I went on to suggest a stint in Aussie for a bit. I'm still very much dedicated to Canada, but I need to be somewhere else in the years it'll take for the residency. Steve asked what we'd do with our stuff in NZ. My response was simply, 'let's just leave it.' Quite honestly, the cars, the plasma, all the stuff we worked hard to acquire means very little to me. Its just stuff. Its also very anchoring. My feeling of suffocation is made worse by Steve's obsession with buying a proprty when the bottom drops out of the housing market. He's dead keen to buy here in NZ. At first it was more talk of a holiday home type thing, which I'd be OK with because it'll have a good rental income when we leave. But Steve's mind has started to consider actual houses. Initially city apartments, but his interest and research is pushing him in other directions. For me, marriage was a tough pill to swallow. The only time I'd considered marrying was to a gay American guy, because we each wanted easy access to each other's respective countries. I decided that I loved Steve enough to warrant marriage and besides, it makes it easier to move around as a married couple as not all countries recognise defacto. Having kids is a huge undertaking, but I figure that its just a case of good management. Buying a place? Now that smacks of serious commitment! Not only that, but kids and husbands can be packed and moved. A house is an anchor and a demand. Although I know we'll buy in Canada, and that suits me, buying in this poxy country makes me queasy. Why do I want a tie to this place? This week, we got Egg's birth certificate back, it was full of mistakes. And not mistakes from poor writing on our part either. Silly, obvious mistakes that made me cringe. This week I also received a letter from the courts about an overdue payment. A payment incidentally that I made two months ago. The letter gave such a small window to respond that had our holiday have been longer, I would probably have arrived back to find my car towed. These are two huge errors. And I just can't remember anything like this happening anywhere else. The courts were easily resolved, only after I had the responsibility of phoning around. Thank god I've matured enough to keep receipts and a good filing system! The birth certificate I'm still waiting on, which means this will delay us applying for Egg's passport. Its typical that we'd have a holiday and return to this stress. So no, I don't want to buy here. And yes, I'm feeling very angsty about getting out of here, again. We shall resume the moaning blogs...! |