| Communication with the Nanny is still going slowly! She tends to grunt one word answers, and as I'm very much a feedback sort of person I find her inability to chat about her day very frustrating. I realise that not everyone likes to do an indepth analysis - imagine my husband's shock after our first time together that I wanted to analyse our performance, areas of change, etc. He said it was like a match of the day break down, but I think its important that no matter what you're doing in life, everyone is on the same page, even in the bedroom! She's not being paid to weed the garden here, she's being paid to look after my little baby's and I want to know what she's thinking, feeling, struggling with, even when her nose itches. I don't mean to be overbearing, but I do like to know the mind of someone with such responsibility. God knows, its not like I have a natural knack with this after the last episode! On Wednesday she said she was going to take the girls to Te Papa, a museum in Wellington on Friday. Its not a museum like in London, its pretty crappy actually, but the girls like it and so I said that was a great idea. Of course, Thursday night I couldn't sleep a wink, the reality that my girls would be in someone else's car, under someone else's supervision in a crowded place hit me like a sledgehammer. And not someone that's warm and open and able to address my concerns, someone that's deathly quiet and only shows signs of being awake when her family back in Wanganui are mentioned. In order to settle my nerves, I typed out a list of recommendations/suggestions/rules. Whatever you want to call it. I compiled a list for the daily routine first because she doesn't seem to compute any tasks I ask her to do, like making Moons bed, turning lights off, etc. I then set about writing some guidelines about being with the girls in the day. Such as not answering her phone when she's driving, being prepared to pull over if the girls are distracting her, not taking her eyes off the little buggers when she's out. It all seems so obvious, but as a parent its amazing how natural these things become. I can rummage in my bag for something, chat on the phone and still know the location of both my toddlers. Admittedly I do silly things as well when I'm driving, like fish around the back for a dropped toy while trying to negotiate a road, and more often than not I've ducked into a shop leaving the girls in the car. As a parent though, I make those decisions, and I would never want a Nanny to make the same decisions. She's young and has not had experience with two toddlers at once before. It was so important to me that I address these concerns, and as her inability to chat properly eradicated that idea, I thought at least writing it out in black and white would make it easier for her. I then ushered Steve downstairs this morning to talk her through it because, a, he's friendly and cute, b, she takes better to him and c, he's really laid back whereas I would need to feel that she completely understood the points and may make her feel more uncomfortable. I was surprised to enter the conversation a few minutes later. Steve was doing his tie, explaining the list, and she had her back turned and was just grunting her responses. Steve looked at me and shook his head, he looked pretty exasperated with the whole thing. I dropped him off at work this morning and charged back hoping to catch them before they left. I couldn't help but laugh at myself on the way home. People were hogging the fast lane, so I was doing the usual routine of getting up their arses, flashing and making a big show of undertaking them. I've always been an M25 tosser like that. I can't imagine the Nanny doing things like that, so they're actually probably a lot safer with her! I was so disappointed to get home and see they'd left. I don't know if its just the hormones or what but I've been really tearful. I called Steve to ask if he thought it would be irrational for me to call the museum and see if I could sit in the control room and watch them on the cameras. We decided that probably wouldn't be allowed because it does harbour the nation's treasures (ie, a couple of grass skirts maybe??!!). So I said maybe we should spy on them. He suggested I just actually call the Nanny for a casual update, seems a bit easy that?! The reality is that they're probably having a great time, the Nanny is probably awesome with them, just struggles with other adults. She seemed confident this morning. After Pip was born I was like, how the hell am I supposed to cope with two?! But she doesn't seem to have that first time Mum fear. I'm sure if she had doubts she wouldn't have suggested the outing in the first place. And I've got to be able to trust someone to look after the girls, I can't expect anyone to stay holed up in the house all day everyday. But god, I do miss my little munchkins. Yesterday in the day I was so sick, vomiting and tired just like at the start of my pregnancy and I could have passed them off to the courier for a minutes sleep. And now today I'm pacing the house, all tearful. I'll be glad when this day is over and they're in the bath and I'm telling them off for splashing water all over the bathroom. GULP! Be strong. |