This morning I've been really tired and sluggish and a phone call I received from the clinic has informed me I am aneamic and need iron tablets.  I was actually quite glad to hear that, as I was starting to wonder how the hell I was going to make it through the rest of the pregnancy feeling so worn down.  I was dithering about online when the doorbell went.  The Nanny shouted up to me that there was a delivery for me.  Assuming my devoted husband or some hunky secret crush with a penchant for fat pregnant women had sent me something very expensive, I ambled (the most over used word to described my movements) downstairs to the courier.  He thrust two rather large folders into my grubby mits and darted off with my voice tailing behind about something mundane like signatures being needed, etc.  I saw they were from the university and excitedly ripped apart the wrapping.  I actually rather niavely thought they might be welcome packs and tell me more about this whole new world of student services and all things interesting.  They were actually my first two 'papers.'  I hadn't really put too much thought into what a 'paper' might look like.  Maybe as the name suggests an A4 sheet with a few questions?  No, these were HUUUUGE folders bursting with texts and assignments.  Holy cow!  And not a welcome letter in sight!  I have two sheets telling me the books I need to get or else I'll fail and I can see now that this is going to be a very expensive venture!  I've slowly started reading the TWO papers, both due next month with an exam the month after - just after the baby's due!  GULP!  Its literally a blur of instructions and information about the NZ economy.  Yep, my first two papers are: Social Policy and Polictics and Public Policy in NZ.  These are my first two compulsory papers.  Talk about starting me off gently!  If it was UK based I wouldn't be as intimidated having done politics before, but being in NZ, this is something I know very, very little about.  Not for much longer though!  One my assignments is to research and argue National and Labour policies in no less than 2,200 words.  My first ever work project is to check I know about library referencing online and the APA referencing thingy.  I guess I lasted about half an hour of Steve helping me before I burst into tears, wailing, I'm too stupid for this, I can't do it!! It doesn't help that because I'm so tired my brain is struggling to retain information.  I've already clarified about four times my appointment with the clinic, only to put the phone down, realise its Moons birthday on that day, call back to reschedule, same need to repeat a few times over the revised time and date and I've already told Steve I can't remember and he needs to phone for me because I'm too embaressed to admit to the clinic again that I forgotton!!  Grrrroan!  So confidence is not something I'm brimming with right now when I look at these large folders sat beside my laptop.  At this stage I'm very anxious about the whole thing, not sure I'm going to get through the first semester, let alone the first year.  BIG GULP!