| Six months after I give birth I start to really miss pregnancy. Come a year later, I will be considering another baby. I always forget the negatives about pregnancy. I imagine myself with glowing hair, skipping along, rubbing my belly and full of the joys of spring. So this time I've decided to document my feelings right now as a deterrent! I'm over 24 weeks now. My belly has gone from looking 'tubby' to round. Its now glaringly obvious that I'm up the duff. My balance is off and I have started to waddle. My smaller maternity clothes feel a bit tight around my belly at the end of the day. I am starting to get creeping feelings of claustrophobia. I'm really uncomfortable during the night, around my belly is really achey and at times, quite painful, so called ligament pain. My boobs are leaking, so I've already started having to wear a bra at night and the girls are so big now my bras are turning into scaffolding. My acid reflux is so bad, its triggered off sickness again. So mornings I've resumed the daily routine of praying to the porcelein, and my appetite is really off, nothing appeals and when I do enjoy something, I later fight with it at the back of my throat. Coffee smells so delicious, but its not worth the battle after a cup. I'm gagging for a glass of wine, desperate to enjoy a bottle with dinner. Tiredness hits me early afternoon, I am so tired that I actually can't drive unless I have a nap on the sofa which is pretty unheard of for me usually. I can actually start seeing shadows and spots because it feels like my sight is shutting down to force me to sleep. I'm really, really emotional. My skin is usually very clear, I don't know why I don't do anything to make it like that, but during pregnancy, my face gets spotty and I've developed acne on my back and chest. Its embaressing! Even my belly is getting spotty! I look like I should be flipping burgers at mcdonalds. Incidentally, I'm now off bugers as well. My beloved burgers! My hair is lank and useless. And I keep thinking about how bloody long there is to go. I've definitely got pregnancy brain. I'm writing things down, but I'm reading it wrong!! My memory has gotten so bad. Its infuriating not being able to plan anything during August and September. We keep starting to plan a holiday then realise I won't be able to fly and I can't really be too far from my OB. I'm miserable with it. I was with the other two as well. I've had enough, I want it out! I think I've covered just about all of it. I know its a slippery slope downhill from now! I'll only get bigger and everything will get more exaggerated. OK, its here, on my blog, recorded forever, I can NEVER allow myself feelings of broodiness for a LOOOOOONG time to come. And if its 2009 and I'm reading this back, DON'T DO IT!!! |