| The other day having lunch with my friend that I'd not seen for months was very relaxing and motivating. We sat outside one of Steve and my favourite places. The food was excellent, there was hardly anyone around and the sun was warm. The view is spectacular. Pip really enjoyed the change of scenery. As I keep saying Autumn is my favourite season and its having a very uplifting effect on me. Driving home I went unusually slowly and just took in the glistening water and clear skies. Steve has been so glum since being in the UK. He's missing us, the weather is apparantly very cold and miserable. The air smells?! Apparantly smog from Europe is being blown over and it smells funny. He says the people seem so miserable and I'm not sure whether I quoted this or not, but he said it looks like if the people had access to guns they would kill themselves! So I keep breathing in the fresh clean air and enjoying the sea views. I love that its sunny without being hot, I can really enjoy it. When I put Pip to bed, she slept right through! First time in months, so clearly the change of scenery was good for her too! The next day I took Pip for a long walk along the seaside. Another beautiful Autumn day. Pip is quite lazy and often wanted to sit and rest which was a bit annoying! But she enjoyed watching the seagulls and the different people walkby. This beautiful ocean front is right on my front door. I know I am very lucky. She had a long nap during the day, so I set about scrubbing the inside of Steve's car for his arrival. Its amazing how much junk builds up. It took me a good hour just to sift through the pile I brought out. Toys, clothes, bits of old food, mail thats never been opened, and mail that has, but not been dealt with. Bloody Steve is banned from checking the mailbox! Old receipts, my lost front door key, you name it, it was in the car! I may have slightly overdone it, as my back cramped right up so I had to painfully waddle back into the house to lie down. Whenever I've been really sick, I feel so good afterwards, so euphoric and like I can do anything! Its good not to be puking! That evening as I bathed the girls and got them ready for bed my good friend Jac came over to cook me dinner! It was delicious! It was so good to just lie on the couch, watch some telly and have a mate there to keep me company. As I took the rubbish down the hill, the night was quiet and quite warm. The siccados buzzed in the bushes, and I could hear the waves breaking on the shore. I knew that these were things that Steve would appreciate even more since his trip, so its making me appreciate it. That's not saying I love NZ all of sudden! I just feel that there are worse places I could be while I wait for all this immigration lark! Unfortunately Moons woke again last night and came into my room in tears. She crawled into the bed with me and said she needed a cuddle. I knew she wasn't just trying to get attention, she was very upset. Big tears rolled down her cheeks. She's never been like this before, so I'm sure it must be Steve. I had this dreadful, vivid dream that my Dad died, it was so haunting. I dreamt that I was talking to my Mum and she said she knew my Dad was dead before she'd been told because she saw him in a 'vision.' He walked through the front door, she greeted him but she knew something wasn't right. They hugged silently and then he disappeared. She knew it was his ghost. It was such a chilling dream, I can't shake it off. I couldn't really sleep last night after Moons came in. I remember in my last pregnancies having very vivid dreams and also this acute fear of something happening to someone in my family. I guess it must be the hormones, but its not pleasent. I keep telling Steve, 'be careful' and 'drive safely.' Urg, if I could lock my entire family up in the cellar - I would! I could feed them and keep them from harm. Every news item is making me bawl my eyes out and worry about my parents, or Steve or the girls. I put my Nan's necklace on from the time I found out I was pregnant. I usually get some reassurance that she's there, looking over my family and I. |