Today I've been really sick and spent a lot of time dashing to the toilet and back, praying to the porcealain as they say.  A couple of weeks ago we made the heartbreaking decision to find our dog a new home.  She needs lots of excercise and knowing how my previous pregnancies have gone, I'm not going to be able to give her the attention she needs, and as Steve works, he won't either.  Our yard is unfenced, so she had to be tied.  It was OK for her in Auckland because we had so much room, but she doesn't have the freedom here.   She is such a great dog, but I couldn't bear to see her looking through the windows at us.  She was allowed inside in Auckland, but not here.  We put her on good old trademe, but I was adament she wouldn't go to just anybody.  Replies were slow and not very good, so it looked like she was going to stay with us.  Then we had two awesome enquries from some great people.  Both loved her, and she seemed to like both.  Both could offer her so much more than us.  It was tough deciding, but I opted for a single Mother with a seven year old.  She'd recently lost a dog and it had left her devastated.  She had finally got the courage to seek another dog and she handled our dog very well.  Unfortunately, I felt a bit rail roaded when she said she would come back the same day and take her.  Maybe it was for the best, I don't know.  But we put her little bed out and her bowls and all the paperwork and she just lay curled up next to me, eerily aware that something was changing.  When the woman showed up, she refused to get into her car.  I had to walk away.  I'm not one of these people that puts pets up there with children, I mean ultimately, they are animals, but it did shake me more than I had anticipated.  Last night I lay wake, wondering how she was settling in and if she missed us.  Had I made the right decision?  God knows I've made a few back ones recently!  Steve and I have talked it through and we know its the right thing to do, logically. 

My sister telephoned and confronted me about the pregnancy.  Turns out some friends of mine had left obvious comments amongst congratulations on my facebook page!  She had called my Mum to ask if she knew anything and so there's been this whole dialouge back in Blighty.  I did feel bad for my sister and explained that I intended to tell family when I knew for sure everything was OK.  It would be awful if something went wrong and they were so far away.  That happened with my first pregnancy and since they've just been through a death its not something else they need to think about.  And I admit, I do dread my folks response.  No matter how old I get, or where I go, they will always feel the need to give me their thoughts, no matter how negative!  My sister understood once she understood the situation more.  She promised she wouldn't say anything to my folks until i was ready.  I have an appointment next week, so I guess some time after that I will have to bite the bullet.  So to speak! 

In amongst the sickness I've had a strong craving for Chinese takeway, which is where Steve has gone now! Good old takeaway!  Always makes things less gloomy!