Trials and Tribulations Home | Profile | Archives | Friends
The ups and downs of our planned new life to NZ, warts and all!

My heart is definitely not in NZFri 14 March 2008
Since we arrived in NZ, things have gone from bad to worst.  We convinced ourselves it was all Auckland and relocated.  But its not.  I never liked New Zealand, which is what angers me about it even more.  I had no desire to come here when I was globetrotting.  Even when I met Steve in America, he asked me to spend some time in NZ with him, which I wasn't terribly keen on.  I had plans to teach English in Africa.  But I came, and a tourist visa became a work visa.  Our feelings for each other became love.  And so the rest is history.  When faced with finding a home for our family, we had England or NZ.  We didn't want visa trouble, and we knew we could live in either country.  We opted for the latter simply because of having children - it seemed the right thing to do.  Plus we were going insane living with my parents and hopping on a plane to the furthest possible destination appealed!  Most people see NZ as being like the UK.  Its green, the people are quite similiar, the weather is quite similiar.  For me, I find NZ boring, I find the people tedious, the services are ineffecient.  The culture is so insular and so far removed from the rest of the world it suffocates me.  Yesterday, by the time Steve got home I was in tears.  I felt so desperate, so fed up, so sick of it all and we shouted and cried.  Things have been tough before, but this really is just too much.  There's been the car accident, the bad experience in our first rental, the really bad experience in our second rental, eventually resulting in court action.  We've had hassles with just about every aspect of services in Wellington.  Now being pregnant, the holes of the healthcare are huge and overwhelming.  Even paying for private care does not bypass the only place to give birth in Wellington.  Steve and I are at our most miserable.  For the icing on the cake, Steve got some speeding fines, they were sent to our old address in Auckland, so he was unware of them.  Until he went to pay another one within Wellington and discovered they were through the courts.  They had added so many other charges on top of the initial couple taking it to nearly $1000.  Turns out he could have argued that he didn't have notice because they were sent to the wrong address but there's only a window of time to do that.  it was too late.  The fines are his fault of course, and so he duly set up a plan to pay them off.  Every week he's been paying.  This morning we were alarmed to receive a letter from the courts adding more money onto the amount owed.  Turns out, he should have signed something to agree to the payments and by not doing that, inccured more charges.  He argued that by agreeing over the phone on a recorded line and then making the payments, this should act as a contract.  They agreed with him and so further addons were taken off.  The bad news, a copy of the letter was sent to Steve's boss.  The privacy act is a joke.  They were able to inform Steve's boss that he was in trouble with the courts ,but unable to say why!  When Steve called his boss, his boss said that this had jeapordised his position.  Steve explained it was for speeding fines, and his boss was relieved and said that was OK, but went onto to question why had Steve not paid the whole thing?  Were we broke?  Obviously this has reflected poorly on us.  The issue is not the fines, the issue is the crappy way the courts handle this.  He was paying the damn thing ,they didn't think what sending a letter like this would do for someone who works within the finance sector.  Its damaging.  And for them to say to Steve, oh yeah, don't worry about it, our mistake AFTER they've involved his boss is unforgivable.  But this is an example of how things work here.  People just don't think.  No one cares about anyone else.  The ignorance we saw in Auckland is just Kiwis in general.  I love travelling ,I've been to some great places, met some awesome people.  But I have NEVER been anywhere that I despise like NZ.  I have never yearned to get out of a country as much as I do, NZ.  Self righteous, ignorant Kiwis with delusions of granjur - you can keep your lousy country.

CommunicationFri 14 March 2008
I suggest you both sit down and talk. One thing that has always helped us is a rule "that when someone feels they are being taken for granted, or down because of the way we are living, then there is good reasons for it" and we call a truce and sit down and talk about it and what we can do to get out of it.

You are in my thoughts and I wish you the best.

David
Posted by Dave+Jules

SadFri 14 March 2008
I really feel for you. What options do you have? Can you return to UK?
Posted by gorgeousgal

Untitled CommentSat 15 March 2008
Christ I think some times my life is crappy, but please this is a short term blip and I hate to go all "your pregnant" on you but it really does play on your emotions.

I remember having hysteria because a restaurant forgot to put onion rings and over cooked my egg, my husband was petrified because he thought somebody was going to hit him thinking he was leaving me I was so bad... ok not relivant but hormones are B£*(^*(^^ards

I understand, my cousin the worlds most predictable and boring person in the world lives and loves NZ! and I too have never had any desire to go there, all I needed to know was young farmers had a tv program! (i was an active member of YF in UK but really) but your with a man who loves your and once "tiny you" is born another world will open up if you chose to take it and the other option is you at least do have another place to call home!

not sure if this helps but I'm totally empathising with you as I am sure hubby and familly are!

Just checked back on the facts before I posted this and wow your the person who commented on my first post yesterday! thank you and that is weirdly Karma, thank you, I was pathetically please that someone had the heart to comment.

H
Posted by madeofkent

SorrySun 16 March 2008
been thinking of you all day and wondering if my comments wasn't the most sympathetic? it wasn't meant to be but I am dyslexic and I just sometimes write but don't see! maybe you don't understand but talking is an easier skill, hope you are okay, hubby has proff read this... so hopefully better look after yourself and again thank you for you comment, H
Posted by madeofkent

Untitled CommentSun 16 March 2008
so sorry you are feeling so low.
Are you able to consider a move to Oz or back to UK?
Best wishesx
Posted by sallyclaire

Oh NickieMon 17 March 2008
Sorry to hear it's not all got better for you since Auckland. Fingers crossed something will improve before too long?
Best wishes.
XXX
Posted by Am Loolah

Entry 118 of 229
Last Page | Next Page
This Blog is hosted by BritishExpats.com. To report a problem with this blog, Click Here.