| The last few days have been really bad at work. Worse than usual. I've been told off for posting stuff out to clients (wasting postage you see), told off for not following up someone else that didn't do their job. I've been tearful, stressed out and struggling with nausea. I've been really worried about the effect on the baby and lie awake at night worrying if everything will be OK. My boss is nothing short of a bully and I've been beside myself, doubting my capabilities. Yesterday I finished late, I was absolutely exhausted. The petrol light was on in my car, but I wanted to get home. Last night was really bad, I was so sick and so knackered this morning. Steve told me not to go in but I knew I'd be in trouble for taking time off. I left this morning to fill up and only got down the road! The car chugged to a hault. I hadn't made it to the petrol station. I rang Steve hysterical, poor Moons was really worried. She kept reassuring me, my little 3 year old. Steve came and got some petrol. I was so miserable. I tried to be calm for Moons, but I was so stressed and I knew I'd be in so much trouble when I finally arrived at work. Sure enough, the boss charged up to me when I arrived and demanded to know who I thought I was turning up an hour late. I explained I had worked late yesterday and had some drama this morning. She just carried on, laying into me in front of people and I just couldn't take it anymore. I asked her to drop it until later and then we'd discuss it, but she wanted to lay into me right there and then. I threw my (work) phone across the room and walked out. I walked a few blocks and then called Steve. I was a sobbing mess at this stage and had become conciouss that I was cramping a bit. He told me to come home. I decided to go back to the office to tell the boss I would hand my notice in today and requested that outstanding commissions be paid to me. My god, she turned. I saw her true colours and it wasn't a pretty sight. She spoke to me like I was something vulgar. I told her I was disappointed with the company and as calmly as possible told her that her way of speaking to people was the worst I had ever seen and if she doesn't start appreciating the people around her she'd be alone before long. She sarcastically thanked me. She demanded my pass and parking ticket back, but that would mean a drive out of my way because of one way systems, I took great pleasure in driving away, imagining her waiting outside the office for the tickets. She will get those back when I get paid. As I drove away I felt an incredible sense of relief. I can't really explain it, but the reality that I will never have to be treated like that again. Now my mood is changeable. I'm weepy because of the way it all came to a head and I doubt myself, and I'm sad that I've really put a strain on our finances, I'm anxious about the pregnancy now and hope that didn't have much of an impact, I'm glad that its over. Again, I find myself wondering where will we go from here? |