| This Sunday evening feels exactly like it did when I was 14 years old. This feeling of dread in the pit of my stomach, ideas of how to get out of school the next day. Knowing I wouldn't be able to sleep at night, that morning would come. Only of course, I'm not 14 anymore and there is no homework outstanding. If only I'd known that those Sunday nights are nothing compared to Sunday nights as an adult! Not only is it Monday morning, it starts with a business development meeting. An idea that I came up with funnily enough to get rid of Thursday meetings that used to drag on nearly two hours and were full of crap. Of course, then I was enthusiastic about bringing in new business and working with the team. Incredible how things change! Being as I've now been told that my new business means nothing to my Boss, that the 'team' is just a joke because my colleague spends most of her time in tears and arranging other job interviews and my boss, well, she's just an evil wench all round. I've worked in some pretty tedious jobs in my life, but I've always worked with great people. I've never worked in an environment like this before and its just all consuming. I can't wait until I inform her that I won't be renewing my contract. Its that feeling that will help me make it through tomorrow and all the coming days. Our Nanny has left now, sneaking out with her a bag of my expensive coffee, a bulk packet of toilet roll and all of our bread. The cleaner had to spend hours cleaning her bathroom and used a whole bottle of exit mould in the process. She's also managed to drain all of the credit from her mobile phone. Its good that she's gone though. There isn't this extra air of someone being around that we're never really sure of. Before we left for the South Island we bought a month's worth of grocery shopping, I mean hundreds of dollars was spent, we returned to nothing. She's managed to eat her way through it all. Quite bizarre really! She's gone to meet her brother, and we realise that she was just immature. She spent the whole night in the airport waiting for him because she was incapable of booking accommodation in preparation for his arrival. We've since met with an agency who although charge the earth, have a very thorough screening process. She's confident that we'll have someone here by March and I'm relieved that this time, all the checking is done by them. They have a great success record. Steve is now spending time at home with Pip. He's not very happy about it! He wants to spend time building up his business. I want to be at home, so its a frustrating situation. But I get a base salary, and we need that. My bump is growing at a fast rate! Morning sickness takes hold in the morning and in the evenings. The tiredness is incredible - much worse than with my other two. Its really hard trying to hide all of this from work! My wardrobe is becoming increasingly limited! Steve and I have talked seriously about relocating to the South Island. It makes sense to stay in NZ for now so I can get my citizenship, and with the pregnancy being a resident is going to make it a zillion times easier! I'm a bit freaked out about moving again, especially being pregnant. I worry about finding good care, but I think I might go nuts in Wellington! Its such a beautiful city but quite boring I have decided. Every weekend we explore and now we've seen everything! I want mountains and lakes and snow! And as Steve and I have always dreamed of Canada, I think the SI might suit for now. Its been such a weird couple of years, so much has happened and so much is going to happen in the next few months. Lets face it, we don't do things the easy way! |