I am obsessed with trademe, its dreadful, its like I'm an addict.  We are spending hundreds of dollars a stay, needless to say, Steve isn't very happy with me.  He's off out this afternoon picking up yet more winnings, and there is more over the weekend to collect and I'm winning on loads of things.  The stuff I have got already is just so nice.  I'm really happy with it all, but its a bit silly to go so mad, especially when we have so many outgoings this month, new car, insurance, bonds and rent, etc.  Steve got rejected from his first interview.  He's really upset about it.  They interviewed him over the phone, in London, again here, and then they made him do a presentation.  He was feeling quite confident, but they've told him they would prefer someone with a network already.  He's gutted that they didn't tell him sooner.  There is another position opening for him, but its a few months away.  I think its knocked him a bit, because the feedback he had in the UK was really good.  He's got another two interviews lined up, but the agencies are messing him around a bit, making him wait, not getting back to him.  Then he has loads of work to do for his job in England.  He looked pretty warn down last night, I felt really bad for him.  I'm a bit annoyed at him as well, I scrubbed the house from top to bottom today, like I do everyday, and its so painful, and he hears me wincing in pain, but he never takes over.  He's really lazy around the house, never tidies up after himself, can't be bothered to put things in the dishwasher.  Its such a small thing, but its been getting to me recently.  I feel a bit stressed and I'm really snappy.  We went out in the car yesterday and someone slammed on their brakes and they guy in front of us nearly went into him.  Stupid accidents, it really gets to me.  I started crying, it really shook me up.  I feel so vulnerable in the car now, but I want my freedom.  Moonie gets bored around the house, its really small for her, and we have to keep reeling her back in from the outside, it'll be nice when we have more room.  There is constant noise, we're all in a each other's pockets, and I'm in pain all the time.  I'm still a million times happier then I was in the UK.  I'd like to get out more, meet people, and get a job.  I get tired of my life revolving around children and cleaning.  Today I wanted Steve to take the girls and head out without me. I just want to enjoy the peace and cleanliness for a little while.  I would love to relax in the bath, listen to some music and chill out, but its pretty hard here.  We share the room with Pip, Moonie isn't far away and I'm not able to drive myself out anywhere.  You know what its like when you just want some time out to yourself?  That's how I feel. 

Anyway, not too long to go, then we'll have the house, the final move will be over, I can get on with my visa and start working part time.