So we went to see my Nan again, for which she was really grateful for.  Pip screamed after an hour because she was so tired (early start for that little trouble maker), she was completely inconsolable, so we made our excuses and left.  We were going to go for dinner, but decided against it because the girls were so tired and as Steve says, there's plenty of opportunity for dinners out in Mayalsia and NZ!

I visited my Nan's grave.  I made a bit of a silent agreement to myself that I would not get upset.  I don't want Caitlin to see me tearful and there's a lot of emotion there that I would rather not delve into at this precise time.  The grave was beautifully kept, as I promised my Dad before I left, I took both girls to the grave.  And as I had agreed with myself, I didn't get all emotional.  I went, I saw, I paid my respects, it bucketed down with rain and we made a hasty retreat back to the car.  There were other people at the cemetary, working on the graves, making little gardens out of them. Its great that they find some comfort and peace there, but I don't understand it.  I often feel my Nan is with me, and I often wonder about her or wonder what she'd say without visiting the grave.  My Dad spends ages at her grave, I guess talking with her.  When my Grandad died, my Nan spent hours at his site, planting flowers, spending time 'with him.'  I never had the need to pay my respects that way.  Mind you, I can't say how I would be if I lost my parents or Steve.  Maybe I would do the same.  Maybe I will feel a desperate need to feel psyhically closer.  I can't even contemplate though.  I can't bear the thought of losing anyone else.  Life is strange, people literally need years to come to terms with someone passing.  Some people never recover from the loss at all. 

No, I'm not going to go down the philosophical route, its depressing and too dark.  And lets face it, a subject that NO ONE likes to think about, let alone talk about.

On that note, I'm going to have a few beers!  I still can't believe how quickly time is going!  There is still so much to do!  I can't wait!  But I'm anxious, but I can't wait, but I'm anxious, etc, etc!!