| So, last night we tried a new sleeping medicine on Caitlin to see if it worked, because she's really bloody resistant to these things! We gave it to her at 3pm, and by 4ish, she was out for the count. In the evening, we thought we better go and check on her. She was all curled up in a little ball, and woke a little when I went in. She groggily asked for Daddy. I tucked her under her covers and gave her Monkey and she tiredly kept asking for Daddy, who sure enough appeared in the door. Then she went back to sleep. Last night I found it really hard to shut down. I kept thinking about how this new move will impact her. She's so placid, she's been moved all over and already she knows three different schools. How much more can we push her? Everyone comments on how happy and confident she is, she slips into a new school without any problems and the staff are amazed at how adaptable she is. But how long will this last? In a month she will be pulled out of her new school that she loves so much, taken across the world, and then finally dropped into a new school. Last night she looked so small and vulnerable and I just wanted to cry. As she's in the midst of the terrible 2's, her behaviour isn't as bad as we had been told to expect. She likes to exert her independance by stating 'NO!' clearly and bodly to requests and occasionally she'll have a tantrum especially when she's tired and hungry. Considering how much upheavel she's experienced, I'm surprised she's not a lot worse. Its hard for me though to tolerate her occasional defiance. I'm tired and stressed. Steve and I sometimes clash over how to handle the girls, which is a zillion times worse by living with my parents. I feel so drained and now with Pip teething the last month, its made me feel more edgy. So sometimes I grit my teeth and tell Moons off for things that really aren't her fault. Steve and I don't believe in shouting at a toddler, we like to address any problems calmly to teach Moons the behaviour expect we from her, but I've been damaging our hard work by letting Moons see me get irrate. I feel like such a terrible Mother. And last night it really hit home just how small and dependant on us she really is. And we just keep expecting her to settle wherever we go. I think Moons will come to love to NZ, as Steve says, we can take her for walks along the beach, show her around NZ, which is far more family orientated than here. I have to keep telling myself that although initially she'll be a little unsettled, she will like it. The alternative is to stay here (certainly not with Mum and Dad) and she'll grow up with two miserable parents! I really hope Moons will be able to cope with another upheaval. I worry about her. |