| To be honest, just every now and again, I do wonder if we're doing the right thing. When my parents are in a good mood and being supportive, having my sister nearby who is just awesome with the girls. Steve's job is fantastic, he's paid well and seems to enjoy it. I picture us getting a cute little English house in the country, taking weekend trips the Peak District, seeing beautiful green England. Then of course, I read the paper and watch the news. Increasing taxes, increasing crime rate, increasing immigration, building on the green belt land, and I wonder what the hell is wrong with me to even doubt my decision to leave! Last night really summed up this country for me. A lousy work party, some people with faces that looked they'd been smacked by a wet fish, the drunk attention grabbers, the lousy themed evening. I realise of course those people are everywhere in the world, but I thought I don't want this. Same crowd, same dismal conversation, miserable weather, routine lives. I want my girls to have opportunities that they simply won't get here and I want more to my life then the 9-5 route. On the way home I kind of cracked. I was tired and drunk and the pressure on me just took its toll. I screamed and I shouted, god it felt good to get it all out. We've had such a difficult time of late, I just want my own space, my own home and my family to be happy. I wish the new year would hurry the hell up, so we can get started. |