So, there's a few weeks left until Christmas.  Pretty much spend the entire day on the internet, trying to find out all I can about moving to NZ.  Found this excellent site for expats, and decided to TRY and keep a blog for longer than a few days.  Would be great to look back at this over the next few years.  Certainly at the moment, emotions are on a real rollercoaster ride.

I am so happy that we've decided to make NZ our home.  Its so beautiful, and we figure, 1, good education, 2, excellent place to raise kids, 3, nice weather, 4, incredible, varied scenery. 5, gorgeous alcohol (!), 6, Steve's international experience should mean we get a great job with good prospects anc income, 7, low crime rate.  On the con side of things, there is no family for us to rely on, no Grandparents for Caitlin and Jessie, I know I will miss things about home. But we've travelled so much and I really feel I need somewhere I can call home.  Although Caitlin has proved to be an excellent traveller, I don't think its fair we keep dragging two kids around.  After a failed trip in Mexico, its time we moved on and settled.  Oh, the con side to NZ is Steve's crappy family!  But hopefully I won't have much to do with them (long story!).  Anyway, its been incredibly stressful living with the parents, I think we all need our space and its a long time coming.  Steve and I have been enjoying surfing the net for our intended move to NZ, looking at houses, jobs, holidays, etc.  Although its bloody annoying that we don't know where we'll live in the end.  Hopefully Steve will get a job offer before we leave.  I want to plan my return to education, look at schools, arrange to view properties.  Oh well, at least this way we can make sure we move to a place that we really like.  Unlike Darwin, which was a complete nightmare.  Awful place!  Yesterday I had a kind of emotional outburst (some of which can be attributed to only giving birth a few weeks ago!).  I realised that once again we'd be arriving after a long flight, with two tired children and no one to greet us.  Its a little thing, but makes a huge difference.  Then we'll have to pick up a rental car, and go to our temporary accomodation.  Steve will be busy with jobs, so I'll be left alone with the girls, feeling very isolated and lonely.  Of course, I do know NZ, its not like I'm arriving somewhere I've never been before (like usual) and Steve knows Auckland like the back of his hand, so we'll have that working to our advantage.  I have to keep thinking beyond that stage and think of us in our new home, feeling settled.  I'm going to miss my family terribly though.  No matter how stressful it gets here at times, I really will miss them.  I know we have the option of renting in the UK for a few months, saving more money and waiting until Pip is older, but it just means another house hunt and another move.  Might as well do the big one and get it over.  We both know this isn't going to be our home, we won't be happy in the UK.  So, paperwork starts soon.  I know I have no reason to be concerned, I married a Kiwi for godssake, but all the sites warn that its still tough going.  I can't imagine getting rejected, I don't know what we'd do then.  So, its a case of researching the whole of NZ, waiting on Steve's telephone interviews, grinning and bearing it with my family and trying to stay positive about the future.  I think we deserve a break after all the stress of the last year.  I am feeling excited about the new year and what it will bring.  I'm just a little tired of living on the brink of a huge life changing decision.  I'm old and tired now!  I want to settle down a bit!  Buy a wine rack, buy flowers for my house, all the things good wives and Mothers' are supposed to do!