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The trials and tribulations of returning to my native England... and attending grad school
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Finally! The Ball Moves An Inch
| I feel like I've finally started to move in the right direction after so long! Now that I'm *almost* a free woman (graduation is just four months away!!!) I can do what I want- within reason. I've wanted to return to the UK since I was about 8 years old. No one consulted *me* about moving here, my father simply packed up my mother and my infant self and hauled us off to the land of apple pie and Seinfeld. I think I've always known that this wasn't where I needed to be.
Round about the time we started celebrating Thanksgiving (at my insistence), my mother explained that we hadn't celebrated it before because she didn't know what it bloody well was, we were British- only Americans celebrated a dinner that happened hundreds of years ago. Surprise surprise. I didn't know until then that that was why my mother could never remember what age you were supposed to be in what grade, and why people always asked where she was from. And also why it was ALWAYS a protracted nightmare to enroll me in school. (Where's Barking? So she was born there? Is she a US citizen? Uh oh. Well fill this out.) It was also why I couldn't leave the country to attend my Grandfather's funeral that year. And why I grew up thinking I had no cousins, aunts or uncles- just my mum, and later my step-dad.
Since then I've wanted to go back. I've tried to find ways to finagle it (maybe if I jump off the plane now, no one will notice...) but it just seemed like I'd never manage to get there. My mum isn't keen on the idea at all. I'm not surprised, especially since she loves this country, and is more American than I am. But I've always known I didn't belong here. From my earliest memories, I'd sit there surrounded by others feeling somehow apart from them. I was never the right kind of anything to pass as purebred US Grade A girl. There's always been something different about me that makes people ask "where are you from?" And then I have no idea what to say, because we've moved every 1-4 years since I was a baby. Georgia's the longest I've ever lived anywhere, and it looks like this year- year 6 is my last year here.
So I can't wait. I've been back to England several times since I was 11, staying for two months at a time over my summers. Everytime I step off the plane I just get this sense of home that I've never had in America. It's going to hurt to leave my mum and dad, and the only life I've ever known, but I can't stay here much longer. I'm a Brit at heart, and now it's time to go home. |
Posted: 10:27, Wednesday 1 February 2012 |
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Untitled Comment
| Good luck and all the best as you follow your dreams. |
Posted by Jerseygirl at 11:17, Friday 3 February 2012 |
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