Right -Im warning you now Im in a foul mood, so rather than kick the dog Im going to have a mank at you lot and make you all miserable too (that`ll cheer me up anyway - the rest of you can bugger off I don`t care -Im feeling grumpy!!!)

Why am I so grumpy I hear you ask?? Well I don`t bloody know I just am!! Actually yes I do know what`s annoying me - everything - the dog digging holes in my garden, the daughter arguing back (pre-teen hormones) hubby denting our nice new car, the mortgage advisor not contacting me despite loads of calls for the last few days(though I did find out yesterday that he had a bereavement so I guess I will just have to  feel shite about leaving  nippy messages on his phones). Hmmmm let me think ..... what else?? Oh yes bloody Bindi weed in the garden (have you ever trod on that stuff in your bare feet??). The fact that every time I walk out the door this week it rains on me - seriously those clouds sit there in the sky looking down on me nudging each other saying "Eh up that daft cow is back out, come on let`s have a laugh and see her impersonation of a drowned rat!!"   Im just waiting for them to work out that frying me with lightening would be much funnier and probably help put me out my misery too.

Old ladies standing in the middle of the supermarket aisle - just in front of that big bar of chocolate I need, yacking away , that`s pretty annoying  - I tell ya one of these days Im gonna kick the zimmer frames over as I walk past.

People asking you stupid questions (I can`t actually think of any examples right now but I know there are some really stupid ones out there) Oh wait, I know  - you come in soaking wet through and they ask you if it`s raining outside!!

But you know what really, really gets me annoyed - that bloke off Deal or No Deal (no not Noel Edmonds - the Aussie one) I sit there each night, like the good little robot I am, grinding my teeth wanting to stick the heed in him every time he starts smarmimg & waffling on and scream "GET ON WITH IT FER GAWDS SAKE YA BIG PILLOCK!!!!" 

Aah well I feel much better for that - it`s very theraputic putting it all down in black and white but I have to say the most annoying thing in the world ever is me not having any patience (you`d never guess would you??) I have to say life here in Oz is pretty good but it wouldn`t matter whether I was in UK or Oz I`d still be a grumpy, impatient  old bag - just wait until Im an OAP, then the fun will begin!!